It is kind of fun to be going through this process with so many other women from church. Every pregnancy is so different, and there have been ups and downs for all of us. The “ups” for me have been seeing our black and white baby flashed up on the screen, being showered with love and gifts for our growing bundle and watching the look on our families’ faces when they feel a good kick from this crazy ninja baby! And now as many of us are nearing the end of our pregnancies, the reality of motherhood is beginning to set in.
As I write this, it’s hard to believe that in a couple short months my life will be completely different. This tiny miracle is going to rock my world in big ways. And there are moments when I’m absolutely terrified. What if I seriously mess this kid’s life up? I could do that, right?
Then I remember that the same faithful God who has taken care of me my whole life is the same God who has His eye on my sweet baby and is forming him in my ever-growing tummy. His grace is enough for me and is enough for our unborn child. He will work His perfect plan out in our son’s life, and His sovereignty will reign in spite of my many parental mishaps and failures. Our God has the power to guide our boy’s every step in life, and He has the grace to draw his little heart to His own.
And so this is my prayer as an almost-mommy:
Lord, may our son love YOU more than anything else in this life. Open his eyes to YOUR beautiful sacrifice for him at a young age. May he cling to the hope he has in YOU until he draws his last breath, whenever YOU deem it right to take him home.
…PS. And Lord, help me not to mess him up TOO bad 🙂
LOVE, Lydia Engram
To read more from Lydia, check out her blog “A Good Crisis” here.